5. Never Hungry No More

The next Guayn Islands also lacked any defense. Dannis and Pin could plant their flag without trouble, wait a few days, even start breaking down the island themselves. They’d never caught this much guayn in such a short time.

Their ship was far removed from the safe harbors of the Godesweets. They now anchored near the shore of Doveland, halfway the Midterra Sea. The country that, hand in hand with the republic of Hungerbee, started this war. This was the destination of the eagles, and only the eagles made those islands.

“I told you,” Dannis started, as his antlers nudged Pin’s sides. “I was kind to the enemy, they understood, and now they leave us alone.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“Yes, yes, I’d prefer to be at home too and—”

“A soldier who makes such wild assumptions will quickly burn his behind.” Hmm. I could eat some roasted behinds about now.

It had been a while since they received a message from the Ape Lord—and thus a while since they received food. The Ape Lord did not like their foray into enemy territory. They were too far away now and couldn’t be helped in case of danger.

“Might be a coincidence. The enemy might be busy elsewhere. Or maybe they’re building an extra large squad of Islandseekers to try and win against our—”

Pin paced the deck. “You never think like a soldier, deerfriend. You grab whatever assumption suits you and pretend it’s the truth! Well, feathers and fables, feathers and fables.”

“I’ve never seen someone this angry about being wildly successful!”

Their parrot returned to underline Dannis’ point. “Good news! The Ape Lord has officially named you First Islandseeker!”

Dannis did a victory dance, which made him briefly lose control of the ship. He recovered quickly, smiling from fluffy ear to fluffy ear. “That means I can make some demands, right?”

“Yes. If it’s nothing insane.”

“We’re deep into enemy territory. I request the Ape Lord send me ten—”

“No, twenty!” yelled Pin.

“Fifty soldiers to help us conquer the final islands. That should give us enough guayn to feed the world for a century!” Dannis kept smiling and nudging Pin until the penguin also couldn’t help but giggle. “Never hungry! Never hungry!”

“The enemy will never get guayn again,” said Pin, who rubbed his oily wings against each other as if he was devising evil plans. “They’ll die of hunger. We’ve practically won the war.”

“That, erm, yes, that too.”

The parrot sighed. He seemed to have aged fifty years ever since joining this mission.

“Now I have to fly aaaaall the way back! And remember the message the whole way! Don’t look at me funny when the Ape Lord sends you five hundred soldiers or something. And then I have to find you demigod knows where. And then—”

“We could go ashore and used a Telephone,” said Dannis.

Pin quickly grabbed the parrot and threw him in the air, forcing him to fly. “We will not go ashore in dreadful Doveland. We wait here, at sea.”

Waiting was horrible. Pin regretted his choice after only a week. He’d rather set foot on land and have a fatal fight with the Doves than do nothing on a ship with a rumbling belly. Hmm. My belly wouldn’t mind a piece of dove too, I think.

As Pin hung over the railing, looking for fish, Dannis pulled seaweeds from the water. Both were not successful.

When the parrot finally arrived, he had returned with five hundred soldiers.

They were spread across multiple ships. Pin grunted in agreement.

“They all carry modern weapons. Those apes have that new gun I told you about, remember deerfriend? Oh! Oh! Those foxes have a rope they can attach to their tail, so they can swing a cannonball. The Ape Lord sent us good soldiers.”

“Let’s hope they’re not needed,” said Dannis. He searched for the eagle trail as Pin received the new soldiers. They all had the same question.

“Why did you need so many soldiers?” asked a confused ape.

Only when the parrot landed on Dannis’ shoulder, did the ape remember he spoke to the First Islandseeker now.

“I mean, with all due respect, honorable seeker, you have already saved many lives with your findings. But the Ape Lord said that the last ten islands you visited where completely abandoned. So what’s the plan?”

“If I am right, several enormous islands have recently been created along the share.”

Pin took over. He’d put on his helmet again and kept his fins behind his back. When talking to the other soldiers, his voice always carried more conviction.

“An island far out on the ocean, sure, you can miss that. But these shiny piles of guayn are so close to the shore that the Freethieves surely didn’t miss them! I think—no, I am certain—they’ll have an army there. But because we stole their islands so far, I am also certain they have no firepower.”

The soldiers all raised their weapons and yelled something incendiary, like “let’s get them!” or “all islands ours!” But they all yelled something else, so Dannis did not hear.

That night he discovered the trail again. Around midnight, a full moon lit a white mountain close to a beach.

A deserted white mountain.

Pin made signs that Dannis found laughable, but they apparently meant something to the soldiers. The ships spread out, like a fan, and explored the island from all angles.

So unnecessary. Dannis already leaned on the bow, ready to leap onto the new island.

“Never hungry,” he mumbled. “Back home.”

“ENEMY!” yelled the third ship, which had sailed in a circle to check the backside.

Like an ant colony chased from their home, the enemy swarmed the island within seconds. The moonlight cast odd shadows and had hidden the danger. To Pin’s eyes, the entire island seemed to come alive, the animals merely a carpet blowing over it.

A carpet with sharp teeth and exploding grenades.

A hundred soldiers screamed and ran for the island. It was already out of space. The others aimed to shoot from distance without hitting their allies. Pin swung around the mast, arced through the air, and landed right amidst the turmoil.

A shot fired. He duck down and slid forward on his belly. With his wing, he slapped away the legs out from underneath a dozen enemies.

Dannis retreated. He intended to stay on the ship, safe and distant, but the enemy was too numerous. A group of ferrets hijacked his ship like a band of pirates.

He needed a strategy. After a rough calculation, he decided they had enough ships for it.

After at least twenty ferrets had boarded his ship, he ran into the steering wheel, causing the ship to jerk around and turn suddenly. The ferrets fell to the side, but managed to grab ropes, barrels and the main mast.

Now the second part of the trick. Dannis kept turning the wheel—and the ship could not handle it.

It keeled over. The mast didn’t point at the moon anymore; it pointed at the bottom of the ocean.

Dannis lept to the islands. The ship went down, with all the enemies still attached.

Pin ran past him. “Ah! That’s what I like to see, deerfriend! A real soldier’s move!”

“Our ship … I destroyed an entire ship … and all those ferrets …”

Dannis turned around, dazed, as if half asleep. Pin followed his gaze. The world seemed to play at five times the normal pace; it was impossible to follow the fight before them.

“Where did they get all this ammunition!?”

They were losing.

Two Pricecats ran along the edge of the island, kicking enemies off the cliff. The drop was only a few meters, but in the night the water was ice cold and blinding.

Dannis ran away. He reached to place Pin on his back and flee, but Pin had already bravely jumped back into the fight. With his fire arrows—which seemed children’s toys compared to the enemy’s guns—he put one of the Pricecats to sleep.

The other broke through the defenses and made straight for Dannis.

Not a coincidence. The Pricecat had a purpose; its target had always been the First Islandseeker.

Dannis lowered his head to point his antlers ahead of him like a shield.

The Pricecat paused.

Dannis waited, but no attack came. When he looked up, the cat grinned and made his decision.

He dodged Dannis’ weak attempt at a shield, bound the antlers with rope, and slung the antilope into the ocean.