4. Years Lost

Ardex would not even look at his parents. He spit a fireball as large as the entire room. One that burned Gaia’s colorful gowns and reminded Oeros of the black spots on his body from touching Ardex all those years ago.

Then he turned around and walked away, through the opening that had been closed to him all those years.

“Ardex! Wait!”

“I’ve waited long enough!”

“We’re sorry, we’re sorry.” Gaia repeated it so often that she became sick of herself. Ardex kept walking away. Each footfall was unnecessary, for he could float now, but Ardex used them to burn holes in the floor.

Gaia raced after her son, while Oeros studied the pieces of the rag doll scattered everywhere. He searched for excuses, but there was only one explanation.

He joined Gaia, who held Ardex with all she had.

“You’ve grown so much! And we … we thought that demigods didn’t grow this fast … and you taught yourself a lot about magic … and—”

“Let me go, mom.”

Oeros held up a piece of the rag doll. His voice was as neutral as possible. “And how do you explain this?”

“I heard you talk about a monster who would destroy all. I thought this was the monster. I thought you’d let me go once I defeated it. But no,” Ardex said, his voice dropped from angry to sad. “Then my stupid mind realized the truth.”

He ripped himself free and kept floating away from his parents.

“You think I am the monster.”

“Not true,” Oeros said. “We merely tested if you were—”

A spell from Gaia blew Oeros to the other side of the room. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying, Ardex. It was a mistake, we’re sorry. Come! We could … we could arrange a feast! Just the three of us, the family of gods. I can magic the tastiest foods!”

“A feast? You’re not just stupid, you’re liars, obsessed with your power.” Ardex spit. Hot spit that burned more holes in the walls and floors.

Oeros smiled and separated his wife and his son. “It needs some time, I think. Ardex, we’ll never lock you in a cage again. When you’re ready, look for us and talk to us.”

“See me as more than a monster. Then we’ll talk.”

Ardex disappeared. Gaia struggled to see him go, as if her body was a magnet attracted to her children, something she had to fight every moment.

Oeros was sure she understood this was for the best. That she realized her tests were insane, that she shouldn’t hurry or force anything, and—

“I’m not convinced,” she said, sure that Ardex was out of earshot. Though Oeros was increasingly certain that Ardex broke all the “rules” of godly magic.

“Are you serious?”

“I’ll seek out Ardex,” she said. “Talk to him, ask what he wants, spend time with him. And then I’ll accidentally reveal a secret: you pushed me to do the monster test because you secretly want all power for yourself.”

Oeros turned purple. “But that’s not—”

“Be quiet now, Oeros. I know it’s not true. It’s the next test. Ardex can only ‘save’ us if he uses all his powers to attack you.”

“Do you perhaps have a different test we can try?”

Gaia laughed. “Are you afraid that he will win that fight?”

“No! Nonsense. Absolute nonsense.”

“Great, so you’re in. A while later, you will do the same. Visit Ardex, reveal the supposed secret that I want to take over and Ardex needs to attack me.”

Oeros eventually nodded. “A wise god would discern the truth first and not act without certainty. Only a monster would use deadly force against his parents.”

Gaia nodded with him, with such ferocity that she mostly seemed to comfort herself about the cleverness of this test. “It has to happen. We can’t let Ardex grow stronger and stronger for years, until he burns the entire Heavenly Palace with a single breath. Additionally …”

She smiled and rubbed all over her body. “Additionally, the next child is coming.”

Pride flooded Oeros again, the desire to bring another demigod into this lonely universe. It was almost instantly crushed, put away and painted over, by the feeling that this one might be the monster too.

Gaia had said as much: she couldn’t prevent the children from coming. So, really, they were doing the right thing. They were gaining experience with quickly testing who was a monster.

After building a new throne, Oeros resumed his usual duties: observe the universe, look for problems, look for life. He considered introducing a few new laws of physics—for he was bored—but could not find anything balanced with what they already had.

In that respect, Gaia was the better goddess. She could invent new ideas that worked; he could merely change or break what already existed.

In the mean time, Gaia visited her son, floating around a campfire in his own area. Ardex let her come, but kept his focus on the flames. Something he’d probably done for years, locked up for the first monster test.

“I want to leave,” he said suddenly.

“Leave?”

“Leave the Heavenly Palace. Send me on a mission, give me another planet, whatever.”

“But … but … "

“Do not start about family and being together with your liar’s face!”

“Gods make mistakes too, we admit. And now we learned. As we said, we’ll do anything you ask and we’ll train you to become the best god—”

“And I’m asking you do none of that and let me leave.”

Gaia had hoped for a little more leeway. She wanted a connection with her son. She wanted to hug him, see him grow up, teach him how beautiful the universe and magic can be.

But he wanted the final bridges burned, the final threads severed.

“You can’t leave, dear,” Gaia spoke softly. “For I fear for my life.”

Ardex turned in the air, his shape lit up from behind by the flames. Endless fires and explosions happened inside him, covering him in a permanent mist. His form was, otherwise, much more solid than Gaia’s, almost like an animal of flesh and blood.

“Oeros,” she whispered, “pushed me to do the test. I didn’t want to! I fought with all that I had! And now I am sure he wants all power for himself. He’ll kill us both and rule the universe alone.”

Ardex’ form froze. The fires inside were extinguished.

“You must defeat him before he defeats us,” Gaia whispered. She anxiously looked around, pretending to be afraid that Oeros would appear any moment.

“You …” Ardex searched for words. Years without anybody to talk to had made it hard for him. “Are sure about this?”

Gaia nodded. She crept closer for her first hug with her son. As she did, her form became more solid too, almost indiscernible from a young woman to me. He let it happen, too surprised to say or do anything.

“I wouldn’t mention it if I wasn’t certain. You must kill Oeros and do it now.”

At another time, dear reader, she might have convinced him. Ardex would’ve visited Oeros with fireballs and waves of flames, starting a legendary fight that saw few survivors.

But Ardex understood his powers better with each day, and remembered more and more about what happened those first moments of his life. He had his powers because Oeros gave it all to him. In panic, perhaps, but Oeros had put his entire destructive powers in Ardex’ soul.

That’s where his strength came from.

Without that, he might have died, or become a god with no magic. He’d have been an aid or a slave to the Chiefgods, even more of a toy than he already was.

But Oeros had accidentally given him even more powers. Magic that Ardex cultivated during his years of loneliness and captivity. And pain. Endless pain. He was always on fire, always angry and filled with energy. It drove him insane.

“As I understand it,” Ardex said, “you have all positive forces of creation, and Oeros all negative forces of destruction. That’s how you keep the universe balanced.”

“Ja?” Gaia said, confused. “Now don’t say it’s normal that Oeros wants to kill us, dear, because he’s an expert of death and—”

“He gave me deep knowledge of destruction and death. And strangely enough, dear Mother, I see all of that in you.”

Ardex blew up to ten times his size. The explosion around him extinguished the fires, send rubble into the ceiling, and slammed Gaia against the back wall.

The Chiefgod of Creation fell to the floor like a rag doll. He had split her body and her soul, causing her magic to float above her head like dark clouds.

Ardex froze again, eyes wide open. Gaia should have harmlessly passed through the wall.

He did not intend to do this, dear reader. Do not judge him harshly. If you’d known Ardex as I did, you’d know his heart was made of gold and he carried guilt from this attack until his death.

At this moment, however, he was too angry to care.

“I’m talking with Oeros. See what he was to say. He’ll probably let me leave.”

He looked behind him once more. Gaia still seemed asleep, her purple soulclouds unsure how to return to her appearance.

“And you’ll never see me again!”