8. The Coldest Demigod

Ardex refused to let go of his Firering. Since receiving his Heavenmatter he felt both reborn and exhausted. He was too euphoric to really investigate it. The years that followed were the best years this family of gods had ever known.

Gaia had finally accepted that Ardex was not the monster. Oeros remained neutral but kept talking about his Zyme.

Which did not make sense.

Oeros should not have been proud. Ardex had interfered! He’d broken the Zyme rule. He had been impatient and destructive, the opposite of his lessons! The consequences where hundreds of dead Sunbeamers. Perhaps Gaia was now comforted, but his own doubts about his monstrosities grew stronger.

So when his parents thought all was well and dropped their guard, Ardex secretly crept towards Eden.

Most arcs with a purple mist had been cleaned up. On instinct, however, he could still find a few of these magical spots.

He realized it was a setup.

That yellow-red planet was familiar to him. It was Dalas, a planet nearby that had been his practice ground for a while.

The creatures weren’t real. All those years that he wasn’t allowed in Eden, his parents had secretly used their magic to create this extremely powerful illusion. He had not killed any creatures. This was not the first seed of life.

It was the third test to see if Ardex was a monster.

He cautiously stepped through another purple arc. He landed on a small moon, not far from Dalas. Still it held the same three creatures, but these didn’t walk or speak. They were statues, unfinished and damaged. A failed illusion.

One of many, it appeared. His parents had worked tirelessly to invent this one perfect, living illusion that had fooled Ardex completely.

“Ardex?” Gaia’s voice sounded several gardens over.

Ardex wanted to hide in a dark corner, but that was nonsense. First of all, Gaia could feel where he was. Second of all, he did nothing wrong. He was allowed to be here.

He had done nothing wrong.

“I’m in your gardens,” Ardex said with a singsong voice. He pretended to be obsessed with a statue. Gaia floated next to him and followed his gaze.

“Oh, yes, one of my better creations, isn’t it?”

Ardex had learned not to give honest feedback on Gaia’s creations.

His Mother rubbed all over her body. Ardex’ sister should come any moment now. As opposed to his own birth, this time you could clearly see that Gaia was pregnant. “One day I hope these creations appear and actually live somewhere in the universe.”

“Wasn’t there already a seed of life? The one Oeros discovered a long time ago?”

“Yes, well, yes, speaking of that …” She was shaking. “No, we don’t want to bother you with that, dear.”

“I’m old enough, mam. I’m ready.”

He didn’t know when it had happened. But at some point, Ardex had changed his mind. He was fine with doing missions for his parents. Helper of the Chiefgods? Didn’t sound so bad. It sounded like something he could do, every day, something he could be.

Maybe it was his guilt over attacking Gaia, something from which she still suffered. Maybe it was his gratitude for giving him the Firering.

Maybe he had experienced freedom now, long enough to know that true freedom and only doing what’s fun … was only fun for a short time. And he was supposed to be a god for a long time.

“Tell me the mission.”

“That seed of life … is dying. Oeros knows the details. Without aid, soon we might be entirely alone again in this universe.”

At the mention of his name, Oeros entered the room. For somebody who always preached calmness, he appeared quite panicked. “You’re both right. Come!”

The three of them merged their mists and, after a flash, floated near a different world.

Ardex instantly felt all the living souls. He saw shapes and silhouettes, larger than they actually were, glowing and connected in the web. This was no illusion, no test.

This was the real work. Ardex had to be ready for the real work.

He’d always been told he should feel extra powerful when near other life—but he only felt more exhausted. Father’s theory that Gaia had only given him negative powers had a pile of evidence by now.

Those living creatures, dear reader, were tiny worms without any order or pattern. They could move and collect food particles, but in no way looked like most animals you know. No eyes, no legs, no intelligent behavior. But it was alive, of that he was sure.

When Ardex stepped closer, his heat made the creatures flee. If they found a crumb of food somewhere, they climbed over each other to get the most of it. As he’d been told, these creatures did everything they could just to survive another day.

But by now, not many of them were left.

“They never learned to eat more efficiently or develop further,” Oeros said with sadness in his voice. “They were lucky their numbers exploded the first few centuries, but now they’re all dying. Without our aid, they won’t survive much longer.”

“So we help—” Oeros shut Gaia up. She grabbed Ardex and sent him mixed energy. “What do we do, dear? These are decisions you have to make. You said you were ready.”

“What do we do, son?” Oeros repeated.

Ardex looked down. The reason for his exhaustion became obvious: the teleportation had removed the Firering from his body. It lay on the stones, a shiny object that seemed to attract the animals as well.

He saw into the future. Say he let them grab the Firering. The animals would suddenly receive a burst of godly power. Yes, they’d survive and become strong. But maybe they’d become a danger to the gods later. Maybe they’d be too strong and kill any other life that evolved on this planet.

Maybe they couldn’t handle the power and he would have actively killed them. Like Oeros had given Ardex too much power in a panic.

And it still hurt. He could not live without pain, without flames deep inside him, without an anger that could erupt without warning. He’d almost killed his own Mother on accident—and, in all honesty, did so using only a sliver of his real power.

Ardex was thinking about the end goal; he had to think about the journey. These creatures had lived for a while. They had existed. But now the laws of nature deemed their time at an end.

He had to let it happen, right?

Gaia looked at him expectantly. Oeros studied the crawling creatures with all his energy, as if it could teach him one more secret that would solve the situation without their interference.

And then the second realization hit.

The Firering was no gift. It was no present, no reward. It was the next prison: they had locked a part of his power inside that ring. If he didn’t touch it, he was much weaker. If he lost it now, he’d be a near helpless god.

He kept shapeshifting, his appearance following the wild waves of his thoughts, until it all turned into the same grey soup.

There was no correct choice. There was never a correct choice.

There was only a choice.

“Zyme,” he said. “We do nothing.”

Ardex turned around and walked away. Behind him, the first flame of life in this universe slowly went out.

Oeros was quick to join him on the way back.

Gaia refused.

“You’re both monsters!” she yelled. “Save them! Don’t let them die!”

“You gave Ardex the choice,” Oeros said. “He made it.”

Gaia could not save them. Ardex’ attack had weakened her. With effort she might be able to create more creatures, but they’d just die as well if she didn’t also create more food.

Or perhaps it was just disbelief and tears from the Mother of all life. In front of her eyes, the last blobs stopped crawling and searching for food. She stormed at her husband and son, a red giant whose tears created rivers.

“Disgusting! You’re supposed to rule over the universe like an affectionate father!”

“We do not rule over the universe, we are part of the universe!”

“And thanks to your monstrous deeds we are now the only thing in the entire universe!”

Ardex reached his Firering. Touching it again confirmed his suspicions. Energy surged through his body and he felt like exploding. Even having the ring was also tiring and dangerous.

His parents had given him a curse either way.

They’d given him nothing but curses and cages.

“Call me a monster one more time,” Ardex screamed, “and you monsters will soon be erased from the universe too!”

Gaia towered over them both.

Oeros stepped away.

“You’ve shown your true soul,” Gaia screamed. “You’re an ungrateful, disgusting, monster!”

The child inside her was now clearly visible and vulnerable. The bright ball looked unhealthy, with black spots that leaked stardust.

“Foul witch! Because of you my life is nothing but pain!” Ardex spit a fireball that burned all creatures still on the floor. It set Gaia’s new dress aflame and turned her tearful rivers into steam.

“Murderer! Monster! You’d kill your own sister!”

“Tyrant! Worthless goddess!”

Two mist trails danced in front of Gaia and turned into arms. Soon after, they held a sword that seemed formed from the pebbles and water droplets all around her.

The planet broke into pieces at her yell.

She leapt at Ardex, the sharp sword pointed at his soul.