3. Difficult Message

The three Tamli kings hated each other from the bottom of their hearts. The Gupramils were simply unlucky enough to be hated a tiny bit more.

“No wapens,” the porter said when the third king finally arrived. “That includes your sharp rings.”

He grumbled and threw almost all his possessions, including armor, on a pile. Then Candya, a rhinoceros, pushed aside the tent flap and almost stepped into the fire inside.

“Sitting comfortably, Are? On your stolen riches?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Are said. He grinned. “On another note, I would recommend guarding your storage house on the border.”

“Ugh. Just keep your snow storms where they are.”

“I really have no clue what happened there,” he admitted.

All three kings where rhinos that had eaten just too much. Their horns, thick and sharp, gleamed. But their bodies had otherwise not seen any fight or activity in a long time. Their gold could buy any number of soldiers to do the work for them.

Beeris rolled his eyes. A thick, deep scar ran around those eyes and touched most of his face—but through sheer luck, his eyes and ears had been unharmed. Similarly, a part of his tail was burned, but it didn’t impede him, and actually looked more fearsome than painful.

“Stop your noises and listen,” Beeris said. “My tent, my rules.”

He circled around the other two Tamli kings. Piles of gold were scattered across the tent haphazardly, as if it was garbage that got in their way. They weren’t scared of theft; they were scared the other kings thought they were poor and didn’t flaunt their riches enough.

“Our spy among the Gupramils came back with … difficult information.”

“Difficult information? What does that mean?” Area tried to balance a gold coin on the tip of his horn. Candya tried the same, but with a bigger coin.

Beeris swatted both away. “The Gupramils lead a prosperous kingdom. The animals are satisfied and free. The gods are behind them. They impressed Ardex enough to have him tame Alixader the Giant and forbid him from walking his armies through Schola.”

“Ardex? Who stops a fight?” Are said. “Are we sure it’s the real firegod? Not a doll? The last time he entered my terrain entire houses burned!”

Candya threw some coins in the fire to see which one melted the fastest. “So?”

“Look at you,” Beeris said. “We’re toddlers with too much money. Our traders are rich beyond belief, but not all can trade or earn money. Look outside. Are we a prosperous empire?”

The other two kings frowned and peaked through the open tent flap.

“Well, sure, those elephants there could use a bit more food,” Are said.

“That child looks angry and sad. But she just hit her knee on something, didn’t she?” Candya added.

Are nodded. “Yes, sure, obviously, all those twenty children crying over there have just hit their knee on some—”

Beeris kicked over a pile of coins and yelled. “Our only value is money! But our subjects starve. They talk about … joining the enemy. And if our spy tells the truth, I can understand.”

“But with money you can buy food,” Are said.

“Yes, well, but,” Candya uttered, “we get that money by selling our food to trading ships.”

“And where do those traders go?” Beeris asked. “To the Gupramils. Every time we sell something to a ship, we get richer, and our enemies get to actually eat.”

He kicked over another pile. They splashed in all directions, even outside of the tent, which prompted multiple creatures to quickly steal some. “We waste time playing games with each other, while they work for a united Schola.”

Are and Candya studied each other with shaking horns. “You … you’re talking about giving up? Cooperating with those devils that attacked us time and time again in the past? Never!”

“No,” Beeris said. “But there must be a way to keep our freedom and be better than the Gupramils. Nobody conquers the Tamli kings.”

The tent opening widened. A messenger stepped inside. The elephant saw red from exhaustion and was fully armored, as if he could be called at any time to play soldier.

He was also nervous and shy. His head stayed low, his eyes almost closed, as he spoke.

“I have—I have a message. Important message. Must find Tamli kings quickly.”

Are, Beeris and Candya took turns studying each other’s eyes. They hung to the messenger’s trunk—metaphorically—and stopped playing with coins.

“And … if you were to find those Tamli kings … what would you say?” Beeris said.

“Can’t. Very sensitive message.” His voice wavered, his trunk swinging. “Have to tell personally. You know where they are?”

“We’re their best friends,” said Are, unable to hide his smile anymore. “Just tell us. We’ll pass it on to … those Tamli kings who are not here. No, yes, they are very far away.”

“I … well … no …”

The messenger struggled with himself, sweating underneath his armor.

The kings burst into laughter.

The messenger froze and finally looked up. His trunk rested on the hilt of his sword, as if expecting a trap.

“Oh I have to get you as as the new joker at my palace,” Candya said enthusiastically. He nudged the elephant in a friendly way. “Hilarious!”

“No, I want him!” Are said, who grabbed the front paw of this supposed joker. “I offer a 1000 coins more than him!”

The messenger turned red, insulted. He grabbed his sword.

Suddenly, the tent surroundings fell dead silent. No footsteps, just whispering. Until the messenger was pushed aside by a female elephant who entered as if she hadn’t seen him.

“Marili,” Beeris said kindly. “You grow more beautiful each day. Rich traders will soon ask for your hand and—”

“I will push them into the river,” she said with a smile. “No, sorry, that’s mean. I know. I just don’t …”

She looked at the messenger in the corner. “Who is that?”

“The new joker at my palace,” Are said.

“No, mine!”

Marili frowned. “Why is he allowed to keep his weapons?”

“Guaaards?” Beeris yelled to the outside. “Why did you not—”

“There were no guards,” Marili said softly.

The messenger pulled his sword and leapt towards the kings, screaming. Marili stepped aside, but part of her trunk was hit. She yelled in pain, turned around, and tried to headbutt the messenger.

The elephant grabbed the tent in support, but the thin fabric split at his touch. When Beeris threw his full weight into the fight, the entire tent collapsed, extinguishing the fire.

The messenger kept swinging his word. Marili saw the flashing metal too late—but Are saved her with his horn.

With the joint power of three horns, they clamped the sword and pulled it from his trunk grip. Marili pushed through the pain of her wounded trunk and locked the messenger in place.

“Who are you? Who sent you?” she yelled.

“It’s obvious,” Beeris said. “The Gupramils. Their next assassination attempt.”

“You will lose! Gupra will conquer the Tamli kings!” he yelled. He spit in their faces. Are and Candya exchanged glances and the same thought: there goes our joker.

They were lucky again, dear reader. Silly luck. Suspicious luck. Candya and Are shrugged at the realization, probably expecting the luck to never run out. Beeris knew better, but could never say so.

Beeris grinned. “We suggest sending an assassin who actually recognizes the Tamli kings when he meets them.”

The messenger roared and made a final attempt at escape. Marili headbutted him again—instantly unconscious.

Then she had to sit down and study her face in a mirror. Crying, she refused Beeris’ help and ran away.

The Second King—as Gupra called them—stood before the First and the Third.

“No, we will never cooperate with those who wronged us so,” Beeris said. “They must be defeated. But I refuse to fight my own family.”

“Will you ever tell us which of them is your family?” Are asked, truly curious.

Beeris ignored it. “But there are, indeed, many other ways to hurt and control people if you own endless gold.”